Tuesday, May 24, 2011

What Worries You - Masters You

According to an online dictionary, I found several intersting definitions for this silly thing we do - "worry".
1) to torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts; fret
2) to lacerate or kill by biting, shaking etc.
3) to disturb the peace of mind
4) to proceed despite difficulties

Obviously, worry is something we inflict upon ourselves. We let ourselves enter a world that comes almost automatically when we see someone in need; are taking an exam we hurriedly studied for an hour before; visit the doctor's office for that cough we've had for months; do something we know we shouldn't; get up on stage to sing that song we've spent months preparing; or even just meeting someone new and making a new friend. It just happens. Sometimes we let that worry encompass our reality - therefore, leading to internal discomfort and hazy views of what is real and what is of our imagination. We torment ourselves over what should've, would've, or could've been - instead of focusing on today and accepting whatever tomorrow may bring.

Someone once told me "Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness". When we let something interfere with our peace of mind and allow unnecessary complication into our lives, we indirectly not only hurt ourselves - but those around us. When we can only see the one thing that is causing perturbation, we inhibit our happiness and stunt our personal growth. Without realizing, we push away anyone and everyone we love in fear that they may breach upon this relationship we've now established with "worry". It is as if we've put ourselves under running hot water knowing the tap is broken - we feel the pain and understand the damage, but we've become so fixated on why the water is hot and where it is coming from, that we lose sight of the real problem.. the broken tap. By the time we finally become conscious of our physical suffering, we've already flooded the entire house and burned those who came to help fix the tap. The damage is done, the water is slowly draining, and the only thing left is a broken water fixture. The only way to stop the continual water flow at this point in time, is to disconnect it from the main water supply. From a distance it looks perfectly fine - until you try to turn it on, and it slowly drips unwanted water. It can be fixed - but like a mechanic with a car, it will take patience, an eye to compare, and many 'test drives' before normal daily use.

Worry is as good or bad as you make it. It can be put to better use - we just have to find that handle, or that kitchen tap that fits securely in our hands, immovable without OUR control. When your child is not home on time, the worry of something bad happening is what causes you to go out searching. When you wake up with a headache in the morning, the worry of having it become worse is what forces you to take those pills you hate, but need in order to feel better.  Often we are told "Don't worry about it" or "Don't worry, Be happy" - but I think we all know that these phrases are much more easier said than done.  I read somewhere "Nobody got anywhere in the world by being content".  Whether this "anywhere" is forward or backward is regulated by us.  I think the trickiest part is finding how to position ourselves while walking on this ballerina's balancing beam we call life.  If we put too much weight in either direction, we could fall - if we do not apply any weight or pressure in either direction, we don't move.. we have come to a complete stop.

Do we take the risk of falling?  Or do we stay in our comfort zone and never progress?
If we knew we could get back up effortlessly if we fell, would we still take the risk?  Or would we be afraid of the pain caused by the fall?
If staying in our comfort zones meant we would be alone, would we still be content?  Or would we be happy going through life with nobody by our side?

I'm not even sure where I am trying to go with this, or if I am even making sense - but I think as humans we tend to get so caught up in this thing we call "life" without stopping now and then to appreciate what it is that makes our lives so worth while.  We make friendships along the way - some for a reason, season, or a lifetime.  Whether they are there for an hour or a year - ask yourself, was it worth it?  We make choices every single day - some silly and others in all seriousness.  If you could have done something differently - ask yourself, would it change anything?  We look at ourselves in the mirror while preparing for the day - applying make up and shaving unwanted hair.  If this is who you want to promote to the world - ask yourself, is this the real you?

I think I pay too much attention on wondering about how life would be if I was just a little bit stronger, a little bit wiser, and a little less needy.. when really, life is exactly the way it should be and everything that is happening is for a reason.  All I know is that "worry" is controlled by me, and like I said earlier - it is as good or bad as I make it. 

Don't become a slave to something you can control. 
Discover it.  Master it.  Live it.


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